10. Han Solo, Star Wars (1977)
Portrayed by Harrison Ford, he's always up for a good fight and does so on many occasions.
Pros: Always ready to fight, and if he can't win, he's always got Chewbacca to rip your opponents arms out for you. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, he's loads of fun.
Cons: Tends to lose. He manages to get himself frozen in carbon. Only good for decoration.
9. Westley, The Princess Bride (1987)
Pros: Enthusiastic, never backs away from danger (I recall the fire swamp incident) and can be raised from the dead with a chocolate pill (OK, "mostly dead").
Cons: Is in love and pretty much only longs to be with buttercup. Might have to convince him that the brawl will aid her in some way. Rode off into the sunset. No cell phone coverage.
8. Inglourious Basterds, Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Cheating, I know, it's more than one person... But they are to cool to be left off the list. Played mostly by Brad Pitt and Eli Roth, they make scalping look like a cool past-time.
Pros: All the Nazi's in the bar will be scared. They would make for amusing co-drinkers. They've got cool introductions. They generally let the 'Bear Jew' do all the dirty work, so less people get hurt.
Cons: They have a high fatality rate, which is to be expected when you send only a handful of Jews into Nazi-Occupied France. They're slow; it takes a while to draw the perfect swastika on a given forehead. They don't really blend in, so there is less time to prepare for the fight.
7. Tyler Durden, Fight Club (1999)
Brad Pitt is no stranger to this post. He earns the right to be named the ultimate brawler.
Pros: He's got people making soaps for him so you will be clean afterwards. He can take a good beating and doesn't care enough to stop beating the fool fighting him. The Narrator thinks he's way cool and that's Edward Norton, so he must be. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.
Cons: It's him, but it's not him, so we're not sure at what level he's there. Don't trust him to be there, because he might send weak Edward Norton in his place... And we all know he's crazy.
6. Maximus, Gladiator (2000)
Are you not Entertained? Russell Crowe can single handedly take on the Roman Empire. What's a bar brawl to him?
Pros: He's big, he can kill men with basically his bare hands, what more do you want? And in real life he is aggressive too! Leather!
Cons: Russell Crowe may go too far and instead of a cool exit, you may be arrested because he threw a phone. Uncool. Make sure you're not the lunatic who gets caught with him. Better just run for it in that case.
5. Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings I, II & III.
This is the man who makes dirty fingernails, not showering for years and a love for horses sexy. Viggo Mortensen Portrays this hero in the trilogy.
Pros: He's got the magic of the Evenstar. He's the heir of Isildur and all that stuff. He's nifty with a knife, with people and all the women fall for him. He is a good friend and fights for the good in mankind (that would be you).
Cons: His heart is somewhere else. Doesn't know how to handle a gun. In a non-magical world he would be flustered. He needs his old wizard, elf and dwarf and wumman to be happy. Alcohol doesn't quite do it for him.
4. Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars II: The Attack of the Clones (2002)
The Force is strong in Hayden Christensen, he has many midichlorians.
Pros: Good with a lightsaber, knows the force (the dark and the light side) and can pretty much kill everyone in sight with just his lightsaber.
Cons: He goes evil, yadda yadda yadda. He might kill you in the process of trying to save the woman he loves. He kills his Jedi Master and chops his son's hand off. Hence: unreliable.
3. McManus Brothers, Boondock Saints (1999)
Twins! And they're Irish. What more do you want? I would have these fighting for me any day.
Pros: They are always up for a fight. Handy with guns, not too squeamish. Lots of people will die. I'm not actually sure if that's good, but its pretty nifty. Better them than you. They're creative in their attack. They're funny too. Irish are like that.
Cons: They're loyal to their brothers and no one else. So its up to you to be honourable. If you're not you're pretty much screwed.
2. Mickey O'Neill, Snatch (2000)
Portrayed by Brad Pitt, One Punch Mickey lives up to expectations of being able to knock out a man in one punch.
Pros: Less work for you. He's a rabid dog with ADHD. Also, if you can convince him that they killed his mother, you're set.
Cons: You can't communicate. He speaks a dialect of "Pikey" that can't be subtitled.
1. John Preston, Equilibrium (2002)
Christian Bale is the ultimate fighter. Has the third highest on screen kills ever, with 118 men as a body count.
Pros: He is capable of using every weapon/item you give him to kills with. He can do cool flips, manage to reload his guns in amazing ways. Can cut off the face of the guy played by Taye Diggs. Has drugs that remove his emotions. He could demolish everyone in the bar without breaking a sweat and he's hot too!
Cons: No emotions = no friendship = no fight for you at the bar. Plus, he's from the future, so that might cause some logistical setbacks.
